Title: Longing

Author: YeungMaiSu.

Rating: PG for angst and longing. Not at all sexually explicit.

Genre: Slash.

Category: Drama.

Pairings: Fraser/Kowalski. M/M.

Spoilers: Various episodes from Season Three.

Disclaimer: Fraser, Kowalski and the others belong to Alliance Communications and the great Pauls (both Haggis and Gross). This is a dalliance set between the responsibilities of real life. It is not work. I am not getting paid.

Dedication: This snippet is warmly and with affection dedicated to Beth H. and Pollitt. I also wish to thank both The Star Fish and Meg Black, whose comments and kindness brought about the revision. Finally, I would like to include here my dedication to the actors, directors, writers and fans everywhere of "due South."

Distribution: Please ask first.

Feedback: Would be lovely, thank you.

Notes: An earlier version of this work was originally featured as part of the Voyeurism Challenge for the Due South Flashfiction Community on Live Journal.

Date written: April 14, 2003.



***




There.

He's doing it again.

That thing he does. With his tongue. His lip. And his mouth.

Dear God.

Doesn't he know people watch when he does that? That I watch?

That I watch him all the time?

I adjust my coat to the chill as Detective Kowalski glides across the station like a foreign prince while reaching for him once more with my eyes. Letting him see all the words I can never say.

Words like, teach me to trust again. Let me learn how to love again. Make me believe in the power and the glory.

But Constable Fraser never looks my way. Never sees my words. Never sees me.

Instead he rises and with head bowed, slips the black leather jacket off the back of his chair and across Detective Kowalski's shoulders, smoothing a firm, gentle hand southward. Smiling, they sail past me. Lost and found in a world of their own making.

"Hey, Turnbull! You want some suds and a burger? My treat."

I blink once, twice, three times; the sudden streak of tears vanish and as my vision clears, I see Detective Dewey, situated in front of me, looking concerned yet curiously hopeful.

It's not what I want or even need.

But it will have to do for now.